This subject keeps coming up time and again, and I guess it always will, as it has since time began.
Who knows best? Who has the right to comment or intervene in or pass judgement on a mother and child’s relationship.
Certainly if a mom is an abusive, neglectful, or downright dangerous mom then one might say comments, judgement and intervention are not only appropriate but also necessary.
Which brings me to the subject of parenting and feeding choices. Again.
The same formula company that made the “mommy wars” commercial has done it again, only this time they interview moms who talk first with the interviewer, then with each other, about being judged.
Vaccinations. Organic food. Holistic medicine. Unprocessed foods (i.e. unpasteurized goats milk.)
All hot button topics, but none more so than breastfeeding vs formula feeding.
The people who weigh in on the subject of breastfeeding obviously care enough to comment about it. They want all babies and moms to reap the benefits of breastfeeding, as do I.
But it’s not that simple. Breastfeeding doesn’t work for everyone.
Some women are not able to breastfeed due to physical limitations. For some women there are psychological or emotional barriers that can’t be overcome. Some women are able to breastfeed or provide breast milk to their babies, but also have to supplement with formula.
And then there are women who absolutely could breastfeed but choose not to. Does that disappoint me? Yes, it does a little. Do I think she’s a bad mom? No I truly don’t. Is she selfish? One could say so. We are all selfish to a degree. If we weren’t we couldn’t survive.
All I can do, all anyone who is an advocate of breastfeeding can do, is to provide information, education and support, then take a step back. Think about “the golden rule.” This is one the best interpretations, wish I had been the one who wrote it.
“Normally we interpret the golden rule as telling us how to act. But in practice its greater role may be psychological, alerting us to everyday self-absorption, and the failure to consider our impacts on others. The rule reminds us also that we are peers to others who deserve comparable consideration. It suggests a general orientation toward others, an outlook for seeing our relations with them. At the least, we should not impact others negatively, treating their interests as secondary.” ~ Bill Puka